Prometheus is handing out fire

Prometheus is giving the fire here.

Thoughts on Reconstructing a Life

I have been in a 7 year phase through which
it is time to pass.
At worst of nihilism.
Euphemistically of deconstructing every unreal
Construct
Which is normally presumed to be valuable, but actually easily challenged and
Desimated.
It has not served me.
The idea was to honor the integrity of reality, but even the process of removing constructs from systems of value requires presumptions of value.
Every time something is cut away, blood must flow and the scar must form to ache for years.
And then it ends in never having been completely cut away
anyway.
Among the unstated objectives was an implied escape from falsely dichotomous living. This may have been successful and sustainable but in accomplishing this I have ran to an extreme. I deconstructed motives, anecdotal dynamics that keep most people moving towards a progress.
If not a verfiable progress, at least a process.
In the
Application I have become my own worst enemy.
Self-paralysis has been induced by me for me and ultimately against me.
Why? Self-loathing, self-doubt, self-destructive desire?
Yes, but no.
So, the constructs are not real. What of the framework within which these constructs were processed, dismantled and analyzed. Is that real? So, the constructs are not real.
So, so
What?
So action is still relatively valuable, and
absolutely valuable for the avoidance of boredom.
And boredom is suicidal, but suicide is avoidable at any
cost
so life
Becomes a mire of thought and analysis of the components of old structures that are most likely hard wired into neuropath ways by now, so what…
So what was gained?
By all this rambling.
This pondering thought on bullshit that doesn’t pay, that doesn’t redeem, that doesn’t liberate, that doesn’t renew, that doesn’t enlighten, that doesn’t return any of the
energy misplaced into its bruising vortex of never ending downward spiral.
If a construct may be said to be a deception,
(but it can’t because by that same standard of truthfulness and lies the avoidance of constructs will and did become a deception for me – what does this say about my basic assumptions of knowledge?)
Then let us more carefully say that a construct is a vehicle for motivation.
And let me state as true for all intents and purposes that motivation is essential to a
Non-myopic life.
I must again,
Sacrifice myself to myself daily
To create a new construct of deceptive productivity.
Yielding movement, hope, and process.